"So this lady near us has a pet tortoise that has found its way to get itself in trouble. She puts the tortoise outside to feed on the grass and dandy lions next to her trailer. One afternoon a couple of guys drove by in their golf cart and ran the tortoise over. Luckily the ground was soft from all the rain and the tortoise got stuck in the mud. She had to pull him out of the mud and clean him off. The tortoise didn't come out of its shell for a couple days after that. From that point on she had set up a little fence to keep him safe from vehicle traffic. Well one day the tortoise made a jailbreak! The woman posted lost signs and took out an ad. The tortoise was found a few days later not to far from its starting point.
The entire time the TV interview is going on, the storyteller is waiting to fire up his weed wacker because he is being polite. We all know that those little two stroke engines are just slightly louder than a 747 on takeoff.
The story ends with the tortoise owner telling our storyteller that she is thinking about getting one of those little suction cup flags to put on the tortoise's back just in case something else might befall the troubled tortoise.
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